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Tuesday 5 April 2011

Tormented by Tantrums

I had another post all ready to go about the lovely things we’ve been doing since our move to Scotland, but today that seems a bit of a sham.  I have been overtaken by feelings of failure and frustration.  Holly’s behaviour is changing day by day (she is 18 months). I know this is the norm and that everyone goes through it, but the toddler rebellion seems to be escalating at such a rate I feel unable to keep up.  Just this morning we battled through the throwing of assorted missiles, full on body slamming tantrums, lashing out and finally tipping up and chucking lunch all over the place. 

I know, from trawling the internet, that Holly is no different to other toddlers and that there is plenty advice out there to choose from.  It just feels so personal, like an attack on the way I have been looking after her.  Her dad returns on Sunday, having been on the road since mid-February, I am worried that when he sees the changes (not all of them bad of course) that he will be asking himself what the hell I have been doing!

I tried the naughty spot – now she takes herself off to the corner after she has done something untoward and looks very content. I have tried ignoring the bad and praising the good.  I resorted to taking away her much loved ‘doggy’ for short periods of time which resulted in her now being happy to chuck him away herself.  Even as I read back over what I have written the word screaming out at me is CONSISTENCY, but I just don’t feel I have found the method that will see us through.

I happened to mention the plate tipping and food throwing to a woman at our local toddler group, her response, “well if she’s still doing it at 18 you can worry about it them”.  She’s right, why am I letting it get to me, I need to adjust my expectations and relax.  But when everything goes everywhere and nothing gets eaten I find myself counting to ten and not thinking all that rationally. 

Yesterday I read with great interest a post on The Wonderful World of Tillie called ‘Bye Bye Tantrums’ – it gave me hope and has opened my mind up to trying different things.  I am going to give her lovely sounding reward system a shot and see where we end up.
 
Moan over – just time for a cuppa and a biscuit before she wakes up!

2 comments:

  1. All children go through it, some worse than others; not only is it attention seeking, it's always seeing how far they can push mummy. When daddy comes home on Sunday she'll probably be as good as gold.

    If you are worried about though, do talk to someone like a health visitor. There is way too much conflicting advice on the internet, sometimes it's best just to chat face to face to someone and get good old-fashioned suggestions made to you.

    Keep us posted.
    CJ xx

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  2. Thanks for the advice - that seems a pretty sensible thing to do. It is easy to be pulled in lots of different directions when looking on the internet. xx

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