Wednesday, 14 December 2011

It's going to be a big one...

On Monday I took myself off to see ‘The Consultant’.  I’ve always had issues with my kidneys (the issue being that I only have one), when pregnant the first time in London they didn’t have time to care about such things, but here in Scotland it has been an 'issue' and one that has warranted an audience with ‘The Consultant’. 

I was thankful for the appointment as I’ve had quite a bit of pain on the side of my remaining faithful kidney. 

The whole thing was a bit of a let-down. Not much of a fuss was made - the advice drink lots of water and cranberry juice, if the pain moves to your back then you can start to worry. Right, like I’ve not heard ‘drink lots of water’ as a mantra since I was 11 years old. 

Rather than stopping there with her helpful advice ‘The Consultant’ continued, “I can tell that it’s going to be a big one!”

During her examination of my painful spot, she remarked that quite a bit of baby had got in the way.  "Oh yes, it’s going to be biggie! In fact, let’s book you in for an additional check-up to make sure it’s not an enorma-baby.”  Her words, I kid you not!!

My next question – “How do you go about getting one of those elective C-sections then?”

Her answer – “Ho ho ho, you don’t want one of those.”

Me – “Oh yes I do!!”

Her  - “Oh no you don’t. I’m smaller than you and I gave birth to two 9lb plus babies.”

Me – “Should I start smoking and drinking lots of espresso?”

Her – “No just drink lots of water.”

Everyone thinks it’s very amusing that I might be having a huge baby….I don’t find it funny at all.  I’ve had so many fewer chippies than last time and I’ve been pretty good on the whole pudding front.  
Until next time. I’m off to find a non-expensive and non-ugly maternity swimsuit.

Monday, 5 December 2011

18 weeks and counting

Hello blog.  It's been a while and something has changed.  I've managed to get myself knocked up again.  Baby no.2 due in May.  Of course I'm happy, although this time round I'm finding it very hard to believe it's really happening.  I've had a couple of scans and I can even feel the little thing moving around, but I still can't really get my head around it.  

We waited until nearly 12 weeks to tell anyone, I only told people after ending up in hospital with a suspected ectopic/appendicitis scare. Neither of which came to anything, just random excruciating pain that only lasted a few days. 

Perhaps after the 20 week scan I will finally accept that our family is expanding as well as my waistline.
Not to be negative but a few things have come to mind today that remind me of the drawbacks of being pregnant:
  1. The desire to eat everything - I had to stop myself ripping off the end of a baguette in the supermarket this afternoon.  It was a primitive urge
  2. The absence of gin in my evening come down routine
  3. The horror of maternity bras
  4. The final realisation that I will never ever get into those pre no.1 pregnancy jeans
  5. The realisation that I will never took as glamorous as those pregnant celebs
My next post will be about how I plan to force the consultant to promise me a C-section, I have just discovered that second babies tend to be bigger.  I’m not prepared to deliver bigger. All that talk in recent weeks of women being able to choose….the small print says ‘England or Wales’…damn you Scotland. 

Right, I'm off to smell a big glass of wine.