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Wednesday 14 December 2011

It's going to be a big one...

On Monday I took myself off to see ‘The Consultant’.  I’ve always had issues with my kidneys (the issue being that I only have one), when pregnant the first time in London they didn’t have time to care about such things, but here in Scotland it has been an 'issue' and one that has warranted an audience with ‘The Consultant’. 

I was thankful for the appointment as I’ve had quite a bit of pain on the side of my remaining faithful kidney. 

The whole thing was a bit of a let-down. Not much of a fuss was made - the advice drink lots of water and cranberry juice, if the pain moves to your back then you can start to worry. Right, like I’ve not heard ‘drink lots of water’ as a mantra since I was 11 years old. 

Rather than stopping there with her helpful advice ‘The Consultant’ continued, “I can tell that it’s going to be a big one!”

During her examination of my painful spot, she remarked that quite a bit of baby had got in the way.  "Oh yes, it’s going to be biggie! In fact, let’s book you in for an additional check-up to make sure it’s not an enorma-baby.”  Her words, I kid you not!!

My next question – “How do you go about getting one of those elective C-sections then?”

Her answer – “Ho ho ho, you don’t want one of those.”

Me – “Oh yes I do!!”

Her  - “Oh no you don’t. I’m smaller than you and I gave birth to two 9lb plus babies.”

Me – “Should I start smoking and drinking lots of espresso?”

Her – “No just drink lots of water.”

Everyone thinks it’s very amusing that I might be having a huge baby….I don’t find it funny at all.  I’ve had so many fewer chippies than last time and I’ve been pretty good on the whole pudding front.  
Until next time. I’m off to find a non-expensive and non-ugly maternity swimsuit.

Monday 5 December 2011

18 weeks and counting

Hello blog.  It's been a while and something has changed.  I've managed to get myself knocked up again.  Baby no.2 due in May.  Of course I'm happy, although this time round I'm finding it very hard to believe it's really happening.  I've had a couple of scans and I can even feel the little thing moving around, but I still can't really get my head around it.  

We waited until nearly 12 weeks to tell anyone, I only told people after ending up in hospital with a suspected ectopic/appendicitis scare. Neither of which came to anything, just random excruciating pain that only lasted a few days. 

Perhaps after the 20 week scan I will finally accept that our family is expanding as well as my waistline.
Not to be negative but a few things have come to mind today that remind me of the drawbacks of being pregnant:
  1. The desire to eat everything - I had to stop myself ripping off the end of a baguette in the supermarket this afternoon.  It was a primitive urge
  2. The absence of gin in my evening come down routine
  3. The horror of maternity bras
  4. The final realisation that I will never ever get into those pre no.1 pregnancy jeans
  5. The realisation that I will never took as glamorous as those pregnant celebs
My next post will be about how I plan to force the consultant to promise me a C-section, I have just discovered that second babies tend to be bigger.  I’m not prepared to deliver bigger. All that talk in recent weeks of women being able to choose….the small print says ‘England or Wales’…damn you Scotland. 

Right, I'm off to smell a big glass of wine.

Monday 27 June 2011

Week Two: Dieting

Dieting sucks. Or rather I suck at dieting.  I have lost 1lb. Rubbish.  I could go for a wee and lose more. 

I've had a few slip ups in terms of food this week. The Indian takeaway on Saturday night was probably a mistake. But I ate less than I normally would and only had one glass of vino.

There is one massive plus and a sign that something must be working.  Trying on an ugly new swimsuit this morning, bought from Tesco with only swimming with the LO in mind, I noticed that the cellulite which I hate so much has drastically reduced.  Hooray! I'm putting it down to cutting out soft drinks. I’ve only had two diets cokes in the last two weeks, rather than one or maybe two every day.  I did a little skip around my bedroom.

Total weight loss so far 2.5lb. 

Update on the Clare Nasir Bootcamp DVD to follow.

Monday 20 June 2011

Week One: Dieting

This week I've lost 1.5lb.  Not a jump up and down amount but better than nothing.  I've been good, but I could've been better.  I've worked hard with the food side of things - it's the exercise quota where my efforts have been lacking.  I’ve found it hard to get out for a run, what with not being able to leave your child unattended! The OH is back on the road again for the next three weeks.

So, and I hate myself a little for doing this, I have ordered another workout DVD.  This time, and I hate myself even more for falling the obvious PR trickery, I have bought the former GMTV weather girl Clare Nasir's Boot Camp DVD. You remember the one, she was "accidently" pictured in lime green hot pants jiggling all over the shop.

I really mean business this week, I've even gone as far as to buy slim-line tonic! 1.5lb closer to getting into those jeans.

Monday 13 June 2011

Goodbye Ass Hello Jeans

I have five...1-2-3-4-5 pairs of lovely expensive pre-pregnancy jeans in my wardrobe that I can no longer wear. Why?  Because my ass is getting far too big.  I REFUSE to buy new ones, it's the easy way out and I'll just end up feeling more miserable and mirror shy. 

I got on the scales this morning, I weigh 9.5 stone. I remember being told that I weighed this much at one of my midwife appointments, I nearly started crying.  The midwife told me not to be so silly, she weighed two of me and wasn't even pregnant. 

Weight is very personal, my little sisters have always been slimmer than me but weigh more. So to some 9.5 stone is nothing but to me it's where I have to draw the line.  My LO is nearly two and I need to shift these extra pounds, I can't blame her for them anymore.  I should say I have no ambitions to be a size six, a solid size 10 is fine with me.  I am struggling to get into a 12 at the moment.  

So every Monday until I can get back into those five pairs of jeans I will share my weight loss highs and lows.  I have zero willpower, so it may take a while.

Here is the plan:
  •  Commit to running at least three times a week
  •  Commit to doing my DVD workouts three times a week
  •  Follow a low GI food plan
  •  No finishing my LO's food (such a cliché)
  •  No more fizzy drinks (bye bye Irn Bru)
  •  I should say no booze...but I can't do that just yet
This morning, I went for a run and did three workouts from my 'Trouble Zone' DVD. For breakfast I had low fat yoghurt with raspberries and oats.  Let's see how long it last.  If anyone has any workout DVD suggestions please do let me know, the woman in mine is obsessed with tank tops, apparently if I work hard I'll be able to wear one all year round!?

Goodbye ass, hello jeans.